I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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