I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
