Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
