Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
