Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We're not piercing ourselves today.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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