I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
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Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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