I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
