He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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