goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
