I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
