Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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