U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
