My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize