he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
