HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
