I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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