i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
