The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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