You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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