as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
