Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize