You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
