Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You are a genius and a whore.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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