My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize