some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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