I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
