Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
