i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
