put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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