the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
