I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
