you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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