areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize