bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
