I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
