You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
