so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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