I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize