Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
