her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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