worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
