weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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