I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
