Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
