I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
