I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
