Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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