she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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