i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
