shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
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i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
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Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I love you. Go after that dick
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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