He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
