I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
