I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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