There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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