I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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