I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂