therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
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It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.