whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do