Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?