he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
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I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
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She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..