So drunk its hurt
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
