They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
