I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
