When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
