We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
