In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
