You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
