Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
