i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
